I feel like I should be at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

“My name’s Liah, and I’ve been sober a week now.”

There is something so wrong about that, seeing as I’m a college student at a respectable university. Sure, there are always slow weekends, but seriously, two weekends in a row?
Sobriety makes you bitter.

I got all dressed up, and did my makeup. And I can’t lie, I looked damn hot. To prove it, while we were walking around, a guy walked by, looked right at me and said “You’re hot.” So, I feel like I was actually looking good tonight. Granted, his forwardness suggest he’d had a few, for which I was also very jealous. But I’ll take what I can get.
Unfortunately, it’s also about 45 degrees out. Why I picked Ohio for school, I’ll never figure out.

So we head out at 10pm. I didn’t think that’s too early! Turns out, the party we were headed to…wasn’t till tomorrow. And it was a sketchy frat anyway. So we call everyone we know, and no one is doing anything. Apparently because it’s homecoming weekend, people suddenly get boring and don’t throw parties.

We walked around for an hour and a half, awkwardly stood in front of three houses, then just decided to go home. I was back in my room BEFORE midnight.
At least I got ice cream.

But yeah, I’m getting a little frustrated. When you can’t have fun on the weekends, when you have nothing to look forward to, it makes the weeks so much longer and so much harder.

Plus, it just makes me want to try drugs, because that you can do in comfort and warmth of your own home….or dorm room.

It should always be know that it is a bad idea, if you are a man, to talk about your sexual exploits. For one thing, it’s not very classy. And two, no girl appreciates the funny looks.

Now, to be honest, it never really bothered me until a few weekends ago, when my boyfriend decided that a few people needed to know about one of our more adventurous escapades.

We made some crazy monkey love in our work place. Well, his former work place, and my current one. Now, I don’t mind if certain people know. For one thing, my boss knows, and a few of my coworkers know. But it’s okay, because my boss totally owned up to having done it too. I’m pretty sure that’s why he took my key though.
Well, my boyfriend, a few weeks ago, went a mutual friend’s going away party. I was captive in this small, desolate, no mall, ohio town so I could not grace them with my presence.
He got drunk. Big surprise there. Love him, but a loose lipped drunk.
And well, turns out he told two of his old friends from work, people I had never met before, what he and I had done.

Now, this wouldn’t bother me, except that those two people have come back. Not to work, but to take classes. (I work in a Taekowndo school.) Well, when I get home, I’m going to have to meet these people.
What will be their first impression of me? No, not another bad ass black belt  that trained at the same school as them. Nooo.
I’m going to be the girl their little buddy fucked on the mats. can’t you just taste the bitterness?
Now I’m a little reluctant to go home.

Is it okay that he did that? Should I be as bothered as I am?

I guess I feel like it’s weird that all these people know about me, before even meeting me, is my sex life.

This morning, I awoke to the sounds of an alarm clock. Rhythmic. Over. And Over. It kept beeping. Yet, it was not my alarm. It was not my roommate’s alarm.

No.

It was the alarm in the room right next to me.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I honestly thought I was going to go mad.

I went out into the hall, was looking for it. I had to turn on the tv just to drown out the sound. But I could still hear it.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I. Hate. Alarm. Clocks.

Disclaimer: Sorry if I am at all repetitive of my earlier post, I didn’t take the time to reread it before writing this one.

First off, I was amused to see that I actually got comments on this post that weren’t essentially telling me I’m going to hell. If anyone who read it and wanted to comment that, but felt to Christian, please, don’t hold back. I’m really just a comment whore.

But moving to the actual topic of such post.

First thing, I was asked to explain miracles. Well, it was a miracle that I was born and that I was born without complications, but if anyone has ever examined the process of “building” a baby, one would realize that it’s probably the biggest miracle of all that more babies aren’t born with complications. The amount of things that could go wrong are enormous. It seems just as likely that we would be born completely deformed and messed up as not. If anyone wants to argue with me the presence of a God, you just have to bring the view how many babies every year are born perfectly healthy. Unfortunately, it’s not these babies that people rave are miracles. It’s the babies that are born with problems, that just fell into the pool of children where something just went wrong, that when they survive and make it to adulthood, that people consider a “miracle.” I would have to say that this particular miracle is arguable by the fact that it is just as likely that something goes wrong, as that it doesn’t. We only recognize it as a miracle because we put more emphasis on one or the other.

Thus, my issue with miracles. Is it a miracle that someone regains sight? Well, what are the chances that they did vs. that they didn’t. If they hadn’t regained sight, would we have considered that a miracle? In any case, it was just the other possibility and for all we know, just as likely. Doctors can give you all the statistics they want. We consider surviving cancer a miracle because its a really good thing, but it’s just as likely that you die from it. No one considers that a miracle, but it’s just as likely.

In any case, it’s like flipping a coin. You can get either heads or tails. If you get heads, is that a miracle? Or getting tails is a miracle? No, it’s just something that happens. Things happen in life, they are just as likely as the event that they don’t happen. Miracles are just fabricated from our point of view.

Now, that’s my argument, solely for the sake of argument.

People like my mother give religion as a pillow, a comfort. She once shared with me that she would have a big problem believing that this is it, so that’s why she believe in God. Because she just can’t keep seeing all the horrible things in the world thinking that this is all there is.

Now, it’s for people like that, that I think religion is perfect for. It’s for those you want something good to believe in, to keep them sane, and safe in their heads, despite if it’s real or not. To me, that’s true faith.

But people will criticize saying that believing in something solely because you don’t want to believe in the alternative isn’t true faith. Well, what makes your faith better? Believing it because you are told to?

A chosen faith is better than a forced faith.

I on the other hand am perfectly alright with the notion that this is it. While this may depress some people, it just makes me want to live life to the absolute fullest. Never miss an adventure or an opportunity, because it just as likely that the world ends that day, that it doesn’t.

It does or it doesn’t. It’s all 50/50 to me.

To me, Religion should be nothing more than a comfort to keep you feeling better, while giving you very basic moral to live by. The 10 commandments? Scratch off the one about believing in other Gods and keeping the Sabbath, and you have a perfect base set of guidelines for life that really aren’t going to change with the ages. 8 solid commandants.

The Commandants about driving are a bunch of bullshit. The Catholic church just got hella bored and scribbled some shit down. I really don’t like the Catholic church. Nothing against catholics, just the church.

But what irks me most is when people take religion to such extremes that they let it play such a large role in other parts of their life. My cousin was with this girl for years, they are still really close, but because she is Mormon, he refuses to marry her. He doesn’t want to convert.

Bull fucking shit. What the hell does religion matter if you love the person. The Mormons have crazy rules (and beliefs) but you know what, that should not be a reason not to marry her. Do her feet smell? Does she hit you? Does she scream in her sleep? Those are better reason to me than “She’s Mormon.”

My dad told me that religion should never get in the way of who I want to be with. This is the same man that demands I marry a white man, but then again, I blame that on his work office. He’s been there waaaay too long.

But to sum it up, once again, Religion is something that should guide your life and help you to be a better person. I don’t care if it’s true or not, that doesn’t matter to me. I don’t care who is right, and who is wrong. If people can be good people, but not let religion decide who the like and don’t like, then they can have their miracles. If people could stop waging war based on the fact that they are right and everyone else is wrong, then I think religion itself could play an even bigger role in the world.

Besides, there are only two sure things in life. Death, and math.

Now, I’m planning to complete my major in Creative writing, and maybe something on the side. So far, I’m really enjoying it. But I have to be honest, I have a serious problem with other Creative Writing Majors, and it’s all for one simple reason:

They will use the most ridiculous diction and syntax as well as metaphorical ideas just to sound as intelligent as possible.

I suppose we fancy ourselves better writers than everyone else, which results in a nasty superiority complex. But it drives me nuts. Something you can say so easily, but a CWM has to go and intellectualize it.

I see no reason why a “creative” piece of writing has to sound so “intelligent” for it to be good. Some of the best literature I’ve ever read has been down to earth style. Not everyone has to be Charles Dickens.

So if anyone else is considering it as a major, please, do everyone a favor, and deflate your ego before you write anything.

Even though the average person doesn’t even read, one would hope that if such a mediocre human life form would happen to fall across a book which may in some way assist their education, that they would be able to understand it.

My best friend was just starting to get along with her ex, who she wants to remain close friends with. Being the complete child he is, he “deletes” her from facebook for no apparent reason. Interesting.

Apparently, He heard a rumor she had slept with one of his best friends. I tell him, “noo! This is utterly ridiculous!”

So I tell her why he is apparently angry. She calls me sobbing.

“I didn’t want to tell you… because he was your ex!”

I laughed. Honestly? She slept with her ex’s BEST friend, who is also my ex boy friend. Now, granted, I greatly dislike this particular ex boyfriend. I feel like he lucked out having gotten to sleep with her!

But honestly, the stuff that happens these days, could be a movie.

Sometime I wish they’d all go back to fucking highschool. *sigh*

It seriously sucks getting uninvited to things.

Now I don’t get to see Harry Potter 5.

And of course, I’m always looking for a fun way to start a debate, so are you surprised I’d mention a little of my religious views? You shouldn’t be.

Now, first thing, I was raised very religiously. I went to church every Sunday, a very lovely Lutheran Church, and my mom taught our Sunday School class. Thus, I was always the test rat at home for lesson plans. My parents had me in summer church classes, church plays, church choirs, you name it. I know the apostle’s creed still, memorized forwards and backwards. This is actually because for each verse we memorized we got candy. Mmmm candy! I know all the stories in the bible, I know the teaching, etc. etc. etc. So don’t anyone try and tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about when it comes to basic Christianity.

As for other religions, I know their political and social histories, not as much their theology, but enough of it overlaps to have a good general understanding.

So I’ll start with this. Is there a supreme being watching over all of us? Sure, why not? I don’t see why there can’t be, we just can’t actually prove it. Who is it? Well, that’s why we gave him the ambiguous name of “God.”

I really don’t have a problem with people using their faith to make them feel good about living, and using it as a reason to do good things. I mean, that would be like having a problem with people doing good things. What bothers me the most is when people 1) Try to tell me that their God is the best god ever, 2) Tell me that unless I do certain things for their church, and worship the way they want me to, I’ll go to hell, 3) believe Evolution is false, and 4) the bible is the word of God.

We’ll go in order.

1) How can your God be the best god ever? No, honestly, how? Did he beat up all the other gods? Is he the big bad god on the block? Newsflash, most religions in the world we can remember back to the time they were created, and half of them worship the same God. Why then does your god want you to kill his other followers *cough*Islam*cough* oh and *cough*Catholics!*cough* Yeah, that’s right, you went after the Jews. That totally counts. Dude, wasn’t Jesus a Jew? Someone had a misstep in logic during some point in history, that’s for sure.

2) So If I don’t do things your way, it’s the wrong way? This kind of piggy-backs off my last point. If the three main monotheistic religions worship the same god, why then do they not get along? Because their practices are different? Honestly, if someone doesn’t pray 5 times a day, or doesn’t go to church every Sunday, or learn how to read Hebrew, does it make them any less of a believer in God? It seems that the religions really only differ in practices. If I’m gonna worship the same god you do, I’ll do it my way, and if I piss him off because I did it my way, then well that’s between me and God, not anyone else.

3) Evolution, yes, is in fact a theory. But as a friend of mine once said, “So is gravity. Go jump off a building and test that one.” Truth is, people believe that they were never “monkeys.” We are part of the same family, the evidence is there, it’s widely accepted, and it has scientific evidence. I don’t care how you interpreted your bible, which I’ll get into next, Science has spoken. And the big bang theory, whose to say God wasn’t behind the big bang? hmm?

4) The Bible. My biggest problem is in fact with the Bible itself. So many people put so much emphasis on the Bible being “the word of God” and it being full of true stories, and how we should make it pretty much our Dictionary of Faith. I believe it is well known that the Bible was compiled and the stories chosen by, I think, Atheists hundreds of years after all of it happened. Thus, they had no idea what actually happened, and we don’t know what stories were even left out! Also, the stories were all written by men. Why are women not seen as better? Because men wrote the Bible. Why do Catholics believe we have original sin? Because me wrote the Bible. Had women written the Bible, the world would be a different, and female dominated, place.

I get most frustrated with how people take the Bible word for word. The Bible is full of STORIES, exaggerated stories with morals. The fact that catholicism broke into at least 3 different groups based partially on the interpretation of one sacrament irks me. Is the win and the bread the blood and flesh of Christ? Well gosh it doesn’t taste like it, but the Bible says it is, so it has to be! Or, not its just a representation. Or no! There is a transformation that occurs! Does it matter? You’re all doing the exact same thing. You’re drinking wine, and eating bread. As long as the principle is behind the action, it doesn’t matter what it is or isn’t right?

I think people get too hung up on trying to live by the word of God. People claiming to die for god. People like the VT shooter talking about dying like Christ. I thought Christ always taught to turn the other cheek. I thought killing was a sin. It seems like people sometimes use the excuse of religion as a reason to sin. Take all the religious wars. I’m pretty sure God didn’t ask for people to go out and seize vast lands in the name of God. Pretty sure God just wants people to get along, be happy, be good people, right? I dunno, but that’s why my mommy taught me.

To me, Religion shouldn’t be so much about the supreme being, and more about the person. Religion should be more of a set of guild lines. Instead of interpreting everything as the word of God, trying to find miracles, and waging holy missions, why instead don’t people try and please God by doing the only things he really asked of us? Believe, and follow the ten commandments. If people did that, the world would be better off anyway.

The true hypocrites though, are the people that do good things solely for the sake of getting into heaven. It seems a bit selfish to me to do a good thing in the belief that you are in the end benefiting yourself. Doesn’t it make you more of a religious person to do a good thing, not to please God, but for the sake of doing a good thing?

I’m really not a believer. I don’t get hung up on the whole is there, or is there not a God. Either way, doesn’t really bother me. I feel like, once I die, that’s it. And without solid evidence, you can’t really change my mind. Instead, I’m not going to deny other people their right to believe. Some people need that faith to keep going this shity reality we have. I totally understand that. But I’m also not going to ignore how I was raised. I was raised with the principles of religion, and they are good ones. They are great rules and guidelines to live life by.

I think, that if people shifted the emphasis away from the appeasing the supreme being, and more following the guides to live a good life, not only would things drastically improve within relations, but also, isn’t that directly appeasing God?

Religious people believe God gave us life. Dying to appease him is like giving back a gift you got from your friend for your birthday. It’s as if you didn’t want it. Isn’t that more insulting than pleasing?

Yesterday, I ended up getting my blood drawn, and a spur of the moment throat swab.

I tested positive for strep. WOOOO!

Then I went to work for 7 hours….on my day off.

The amusing part of this is 1) I infected my boyfriend and his entire family, 2) I probably infected my work’s entire staff.

I go on antibiotics later today. Then I head back to work! I should have just set up a cot in the back and slept there, packed myself a little breakfast and such.

The best part is that I’m reasonably sure I picked up this nasty bacteria from work. I should get hazard pay for all the illnesses I pick up there. Stupid children who do not wash.

If I had something better to write about, I would, but when I’m sick, I’m miserable. And Miserable Liah is a not very creative or in the mood to share Liah.

So once again, 2-3 days after visiting the doctors office, I am overcome by a terrible illness right in time for the weekend to ruin my plans.

I find great irony in the fact that I get sick everytime I go to the doctors office, and I’m headed there tomorrow to get blood drawn. Maybe I can pass my disease onto someone else. They say the fastest way to get rid of a cold is to give it to someone else. Though,while I am pretty sure I’ve already infected my boyfriend, I’m not feeling any better.

Actually, the doctors office is a really common place to catch bugs. Yet, isn’t the irony sweet?

I’m gonna go lie down.