Maybe I’m just a little bitter. Or maybe, my instincts are accurate. Personally, I hope I’m just bitter.

Last night I put on my very favorite red dress that I always feel so good in because it’s just one of those dresses that looks good, no matter what. I wore it last night because I hoped that I would see new boy out, especially since I hadn’t seen him or really spoken more than a few texts here and there with him. I did my hair all nice, put on nice makeup, and went out for another night which can only be described as a flop of an evening.

Not only did I never see or hear from new boy last night, which I find frustrating in itself, I was subjected to the bitter tears and angry words from three different friends who all, of course, were not having a good time. I don’t remember when I was put in charge of them having a good time, would have been nice to know ahead of time.

Well, on top of that, I actually spent the entire evening talking to the wrong boy. Instead of new boy, who I am actually interested in and enjoy the company of, I got to hang out with the sob of a bitch that enjoys stringing me along for months at a time.

Two years this ass hole has been around, then not around, around, then not around. And I did eventually become fed up with it and move on. He of course, has not done the same. No, instead he sees me at the bar and makes an immediate b-line for me. He knows I’m seeing someone new (or not seeing, as it turns out) and still manages to throw all his game at me.

Arm around me, flirty touching, etc. etc. Even tried to buy me shots and walk me home. I wasn’t having it. I also wasn’t drunk. Cold medicine plus booze has proved a bad move, and I wans’t about to make that mistake. But I had about a beer and a half, and everyone else had most definitely had more. Always puts a fun spin on things.

Well eventually old jack ass boy got the hint and went home, not before trying to take me with him, but I had other things to deal with, such as the two crying girls that I had to take home. One crying because this guy that she kinda likes we basically ignoring her, and the other, well, she was just crying. Never figured that one out.

But we get home, and I find my roommate in the room, upset for the third night in a row. I’m sick of hearing her whining at night while she is drunk, especially when I get to hear it all over again the next morning because she didn’t remember that she had told me the night before.

I’m very much looking forward to my single room next year.

I still haven’t heard from New Boy, despite having sent him a text asking him how his night went. He was on a pub crawl with other friends, maybe he’s just really hung over, and I’m just bitter.

Or maybe the way I feel is actually right on the dot? Either way, there are two weeks left of my sophomore year, and while all i have left is two projects, a final paper, and a pass/fail exam to take, it still seems like it will be two very long weeks.

So you know how sometimes people create code names for certain activities that they want to talk about in front of people but don’t want the other people to know they are talking about what they are actually talking about?

Well if you followed that then you’ll hopefully find great humor in my new code for fooling around.

I use the term fooling around loosely because like the term “hooking up,” everyone has their own opinions about what it actually means. For some people it’s just making out, for others it’s full on bump-it, thump-it. Oh yea, I said it.

Well seeing as how neither I, nor New Boy, are all that religious, it almost seemed perfect that we would call fooling around “Bible Study.” For the record, there has been no bump-it, thump-it. I’m sick of people asking, NO.

But for all the other fun activites involved, the new term is “Bible Study.”

Now along with this new termonology came some pretty good extra things. And yes, most of these are quotes. Other are just me once again, just taking things a little too far.

Try not to be too offended. But I’m pretty sure you can figure out what they each imply, just keep in mind the general theme.
“I think I just found Jesus!”

“Was that the second coming of Christ?”

“I don’t find individual bible review quite as…enlightening.”

“There are still a few passages I don’t quite understand.” (that one is actually not as dirty as it sounds out of context)

and keeping with the theme, wouldn’t a Nun, who spends most of her time in bible study, be considered a nympho?

Fuck, I am SO going to hell. But at least it’ll be a run ride! haha

I suppose it’s time for an update. I’m not longer romantically dating John, instead, as two adults, we decided that in our current situations, him graduating and me…not, it was best that we become friends rather than feel so obligated as boyfriend and girlfriend.

But I don’t want to talk about it. So moving on!

Tonight was a pretty good night, till my fucking roommate came back.

The girls and I goofed off for a bit. Sucked helium out of balloons, ate a ton of candy, did a little taekwondo lesson, etc. etc.

Then we went to our BT2Go, the late night food place on campus we like to hit up and on the way back, I saw new boy coming to my dorm to surprise me! Except it wasn’t really a surprise because he had mentioned that he hadn’t seen me yet that day and didn’t want to ruin our streak. I met him about two weeks ago and we’ve hung out, even for only the briefest moments, every day since we met.

For now, He’ll be refered to as “New Boy.” A little background on this kid?

He’s brilliant. Smartest person I’ve ever met. He is here at school on a full ride, and is the only person I’ve ever seen who can sit and watch jeopardy every day and know every answer. Oh jeopardy…. Funny side story about that.

The other day, I was hanging out at his place, and we’re chillin in his room on his bed. Cuddling, chatting, and then he looks at the clock. He JUMPS UP! Like he is late for something important! Then says to me, “Jeopardy is on!!!”

I just stared blankly.  Smart people priorities….figures.

But anyway, back to the night I just had.

So he came over and we decide to watch Clerks 2. This decision is primarily based on the fact that I make a lot of references to the movie, and New Boy doesn’t get most of them because it’s been so long since he’s seen the movie. So since I am forced to watch all the stupid videos that he quotes so that I’m not left in the dark, I can make him watch the one movie I constantly quote.

Well after the movie and good foods (loaded fries and chocolate cake), we start chatting, getting cozy, being friendly. Well, we start to get friendlier when all the sudden I hear the key in the door.

My roommate, who was actually at New Boy’s place watching a movie with his roommate, decided to come back, no warning at all, and just barge in.

She doesn’t even say Hello. Instead she looks at new boy and goes “[NB's Roommate] wants to know if you want a ride” since he had driven and dropped her off. Well he lives on the opposite side of campus from me, so of course he opted for the ride, but it took him a few minutes to decide if he really wanted to give up being friendly for a car ride. Of course then my roommate helped him make the decision by adding “I’m going to bed.”

By which she meant, “Leave now.”

And of course New boy and I can’t keep the princess from her slumber. I’d say beauty sleep, but that’s a stretch. Okay maybe not, but I’m pissed.

So I walked New Boy out to the car, like a good hostess. I come back to my room and my roommate is already in bed. She didn’t even apologize for the VERY obvious cock block that she caused me.

Well I’m extremely revved up right now, a little pissed off, and VERY sexually frustrated, and bitch-face roommate doesn’t seem to care. So I am gonna type as loud as I can, text all night, and maybe tomorrow, if I’m still angry, I’ll take John’s advice and pee in her shampoo.

That’s right people. Never piss off a passive aggresive, we do weird to you and we get under your skin.

Actually, I’m only slightly passive aggressive. I just have really good self control. Bitch is lucky I’m not smothering her with a pillow right now.

All I know is, being polite goes a long way. I understand if you’re tried, but apologize for god’s sake.

Or else you’re gonna end up with funny smelling hair. hmph.

So the other day I was riding in a car with some people on our way to somewhere. One of those random rides uptown. Well we were rocking to music most the time, but for the 5 seconds that it was not blasting, I was talking to the guy next to me.

My friend apparently had been working really hard during the party before the ride uptown to get him to talk to me. During this attempt to make him hit on me, she may have given a few details about me that did not need to be shared.

And as he and I were discussing how crazy bad she wanted us to hang out, he let slip that she had told him that I wasn’t a virgin.

I was mortified.

Who the fuck does that?!!?

The entire care heard, and the guy who said it, was like…oh shit I’m so sorry.

The guy driving the car goes “aaaand we’re turning the music back up.”  But all the music did was distract everyone from my beat red face.

The guy felt really bad he had accidently announced it to the entire car, but it’s not so much that, as my friend insinuated that because I’m not a virgin, that somehow that’s important, like I automatically put out or something?

Wow. Talk about awkward. At least the guy was nice about it, and was enough of a gentleman to 1) never bring it up again, and 2) not to try hook up with me. He had done enough damage. heh

You may be surprised to hear, this is not a St. Patrick’s day post. In fact, I didn’t even go out for that holiday. Why? Because I was still recovering from a different holiday celebrated at my school, lovingly dubbed “Green Beer Day.”

Now, I didn’t get to celebrate last year since I had to fly home early, but this year I made sure to be here for it.

The day started for most the campus at 5:30am with kegs and eggs. I started at 8am. Went over to PIKE, drank some green beer, which let me add, is very difficult to choke down that early in the morning. I drank for a while, then got breakfast, slept, went to class for waaayyy too long, then back to the drinking.

I sat on an old fire truck and drank chapagne out of the bottle, then a few beers. I got pretty hammered. Hung out for a while, then made my way to “The Circle” which is just the name of a house where some of my guy friends from last year live. There, I met up with my best guy friend Ben. I got drunker. Not on purpose! I swear, it’s that thing where you just keep drinking casually, talking, drinking, and don’t realize till too late that you’re giggling for no reason and you are being held up by your friend who is just ask drunk as you are.

It was then that I realized I was a 15 minute walk from my dorm, it was midnight out, and if I didn’t leave right then, I would probably have been stuck in their bathroom all night over the toilet.

So I bolted.

Had to walk my drunk ass home alone. Bad idea, I know. Thank goodness I have a safe campus.

But to make myself feel better about walking home alone in the dark…..I called my mom. Yes, I drunk dialed my mom. She talked to me the whole way home.

I’m 20 years old, and I still talk to my mommy when I’m scared. haha

But halfway home, my phone died….And I got a very angry voicemail from my mom heh

But I got back safe, called my mom back, got my trashcan, and got in bed.

Puked green for a few hours. Slept. Woke up hungover as hell.

I skipped my first class, showed up to my second one long enough to hand in a paper, then went back to bed.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t just sleep all day. I had to fly home that night. And I know from past experiences that flying home hung over is the worst…and now I’ve done it twice. You’d think I’d learn, but no.

I felt better when I found out that my friend Ben got just as sick as I did. Hah!

The bad part though? I hadn’t sene my parents in 2 months, and the first thing my dad does when I get home?

He offers me a beer.

So I’m entering finals week, but not without one last night of debauchery before I go into a week of studying. Then again, not too intense of a week for me. I just finished my 8 page final paper for one class, and I got out of my spanish final because I had a 90%. That means, despite taking 18 credits (6 classes) this semester, I only have to take one final. it’s on Wednesday and only 50 mc questions long. I’m so psyched! haha

But about the night of debauchery.

The party is at Dan’s house, My friend Emily’s boyfriend. We get there, and not many people are there yet. Didn’t stop the guys that live there from getting drunk. We brought over snacks, some rice crispy treats, puppy chow, and christmas cookies. We also ordered champagne. We wanted pretty classes to drink them with so we had Dan reach up to get us some glasses because we were worried we’d break them. We should have been more worried about Dan doing it.

He managed to break two large glasses and glass when everywhere, including into our food we had brought. We swept it up pretty well, but cleaned up the food, but we still had to be warry of it. I mean, do you really want to eat glass?

Well we hadn’t had anything to drink yet, our cheap $6 champagne hadn’t arrived. But the guys from a kegger at another house did. One guy enters, Andrew, and wants to show us how many he had at the house. Unlike the others, he didn’t keep his tallies on his arm. No, he pulls down his pants to show us his furry butt with all his tally marks. Lovely.

Then he tries to steal their tea kettle by showing it up under his shirt. But there was water in it…So he got water all down the front of himself. Poor choice.

But then some others walked in. I turned to my friend, “Looks like some trash walked in.” You should have seen these girls. One of them was the girl that had worn the victoria secret sexy santa costume to a holiday party. She leaned over and we totally got an eyeful of what we didnt want to see. But tonight she was just wearing a white shirt with a black bra that she had unbuttoned to show off her boobs. I’m all for sexy, but seriously?

Well turns out when I turned and made that comment to my friend, she thought I meant the smell that walked in. It was then that I realized that there was an AWFUL smell coming from a guy that had walked in. So we moved, i mean, he smelled TERRIBLE.

SO we are on the couch, and this guy comes over and rips one right next to us. And that smelled even worse. I still hadn’t had anything to drink, and I thought I was going to get sick it was so awful. ANd everyone at the party knew. ONe guy lit a match by his ass just to try and get rid of it, or light it on fire. Not really sure. Regardless, it was awful.

But the party progressed. Eventually it led to a very drunk birthday boy demanding body shots. We managed to convince all the house mates to do one off his tummy. That was VERY entertaining. Then we had a ridiculous dance party till 3am. Then the remaining finially got home at 4am.

I was asleep by 5am. It was one hell of a night. It was fun not to be the drunk ones for once! Interesting side note, all the food was gone when we left. Veerry interesting, eh? haha I wonder who ate glass….yick!

Wish me luck on my one final! woooo!

Now I’ve worked very hard to keep personal complaints about relationships off here, but it’s late at night, my mom is asleep, and I’m going nuts because of two things. 1) I have no where to type how I feel since I don’t want to be “that girl” on facebook, and 2) I can’t possibly know what’s going on on the other end. Needless to say, I’m a bit antsy. My fingers continue to drum the edge of my laptop. I check my phone ever few minutes…more like seconds. And I only got to three pages on my 8 page paper I really need to have done by Thursday. I’m a bit distracted.

Let my lay it down.

I’m frustrated because I was at a party last night and I was lonely. It’s hard to watch your friends couple up and you’re standing alone in the middle of the room realizing that you’re either just standing there constantly checking your phone for a text, or your the third wheel in someone else’s conversation. I chose the second so only two people would think I was a loser at a time.

I went home early and still got to watch my roommate and her boyfriend cuddle. Who knows what else after I was asleep. And I found myself miserable.

and I woke up miserable. But it wasn’t just the night before that was bothering me. It’s been a personal thing, I’ve just been so unsure about my life right now. Maybe it’s just that time of the year since a friend of mine and his girlfriend just broke up because she was feeling the same way. They had been dating 5 years. I’m sure they will get back together so there is no issue there.

But with a background of feeling unsure about things, I was not in a good place. It didn’t help that my boyfriend had rightfully so been off doing other things. I didn’t mind, it’s just each time he left right before I got up the nerve to tell him I was feeling down. Nothing would have been a problem, but it just ended up being bad timing. I kept saying I’d do it tomorrow. Unfortunately, I got upset and angry before that tomorrow came.

So I get angry, I couldn’t help it. I felt alone and left alone.

Now, there is something so easy to say to that. “I’m sorry, I had something else I really had to do. I didn’t realize how upset you were, but I couldn’t be taken away from what I was doing. How are you doing now? Is everything okay? What’s bothering you?”

Anything along those lines would have been perfect. But I got lectured. I guess it’s a normal reaction to tell someone off that you think is in the wrong, but that’s if they don’t know they are in the wrong. I knew I was being stupid, but don’t girls get a free pass for that or something? Or can’t it be like sick days?

But I wasn’t having it and I just walked away from it. And I’ve been driving myself up a wall ever since. I called my mom and she called me weak for wanting to make contact after twenty minutes. Typical me right? Well I really didn’t want to be the girl that you think “oh, she’s upset now but she’ll suck it up and talk to me later about it.”

No, I can’t be that. I don’t want to be that weak. I know that is so shallow and such a game, but call it a pride thing. I can have a little pride, can’t I?

But at the same time, I don’t know what’s going on that end. It’s like being broken up all over again. Does he care AT ALL? Or is he just playing rock band, just waiting till I break and am right back saying I’m sorry, I’m totally in the wrong, It’s all my fault?
Well it’s been about 11 hours since I just walked away from the conversation….and nothing.

Around midnight I had a moment of weakness, I really wanted to say something. I mean, I know that he has things he has to do. Family is always first, I get that. People can’t always be around.

But when you need them, isn’t that when they have to? Or should I just have sucked it up last night? Gone home, cried, felt alone, then gotten over it?

I guess being unsure, having doubts about life in general, and mixing that with alcohol and being lonely just breeds problems.

But why then when he is lonely, I’m there to text him? To make him feel better? But I don’t get the same because he had something else he had to do, somewhere else he had to be?

I’m repeating old habits. It’s just like three years ago, letting myself get upset because I was alway always always around and that one never was?

I feel better saying it, guess I’m still just that young. My mom has years of experience on me and can tell me what she would do, but she and I are so different. She always had a guy for backup when she decided she was bored with the current boy. I just never had that in me. Every relationship, friendship, romantic, or family, I consider it the most important thing. I guess that’s why I always take things harder than she thinks I should.

Let me just tell you though, it’s hard to hear your mother say to you: “I wish you were a stronger person.”

Of the National Novel Writing Month 2008!!!!

Took me almost the whole month, but I finished on the 25th of November. I am a winner!!

It was an intense weekend, and not a lot of writing went on.

Among other things, I drove for the first time in months AND parallel parked, I discovered I’m not allergic to champagne anymore, I met someone I went to middle school with, I hatched out things with someone there used to be tension with, and I got lots of stuff done, well….that last one is a lie. I got some things done.

Interesting things I’ve noticed… My typing skills have decreased significantly, but my ability to turn out long peices of writing quickly has increased dramatically. Interesting, yes?

I’ve also learned that damn am I lucky to be in a healthy and happy relationship. My boyfriend even says he bought me the hope diamond. He is sticking to his story too. I’m very curious about it. Very curious indeed.

Otherwise, my word count is 28,363/50,000, hopefully I’ll be able to continue staying ahead.

Much love from Liah, its just hard to write blog posts when you are writing two papers for school, a manuscript for nanowrimo, and then doing whatever other homework I have to do.

You’d think that they would cut some slack for creative writing majors during November? but no. No they do not. In fact, all of my heavy work is in english courses! Other than a 15 page business paper that I’m writing for a group project. Yes, you heard me right.

Group projects suck.

I’ll inevitably rant about that soon. Once November ends, I’m going to want to keep writing, but I wont have a story necessarily so yay! I have this.

Lots of love, Liah

Every year I post this, and say I’m actually going to do it. This year…I’m serious. And I’m going to post my word count every day here, as well as on the site. And I’ll post little excerpts, and stuff. That way I’ll be writing, AND I’ll be updating here. Yesss…productivity.

Now, about my story plans:

No title yet, really haven’t thought about it. Hopefully it will come to me!

Synopsis:    After a less than ideal first meeting, Delicia and Marcus encounter a strange magical wind which leaves them both without the items they hold dearest. Driven by the desire to retrieve their treasures and sheer stubbornness, the duo heads off on an adventure where they not only encounter an array of interesting characters, but also find that one of their treasures in the hands of a greedy sorceress will cause more trouble than it’s worth.

Stay interested!! and then maybe I will….