And so it begins, Finals Week 09.

Now I admit, I’m not the typical college student. I should be popping adderol and pulling all nighters at the library (like my roommate) but I’m not. No, instead I actually had all my stuff due last week, so now all I have to look forward to (or dread) this coming week is one final paper (7-10 pages) and an exam in my pass/fail class. And whats more, I could walk into that exam, sign my name, turn the paper in, and still pass the class. So needless to say, I’m not too worried. And the paper isn’t due till wednesday.

So basically, I’m bored. My boy has two hard exams Monday and Tuesday, and all my friends have exams too. So no one is around to play with me! and I don’t want to go out drinking alone, that just doesn’t seem fun.

Thus, I’ve had to find other ways to entertain myself which have included going through my nicknacks and throwing stuff out that I don’t need and what not. Packed a few things up, threw some clothes in a suitcase.

Actually, the most entertaining thing I did was go through and throw out all my expired condoms. I only have them because of sexual health week on campus. My roommate helped, and then we read the directions which my one roommate was surprised some people need those.

Oh. They do. Another story for another time.

But otherwise, I actually had to take a break in the middle of writing this post because my roommates and I decided to make a cold stone run for ice cream cup cakes, but I then decided to go next door and get some chips and guac. Perfect.

We picked up two more of our lovely Dirty South and came back to the room to watch The Girl Next Door. Good shit.

Unfortunately, with all the good, we had to tell one of our roommates that her boyfriend has been cheating on her. She seemed okay when we told her…but then she made a phone call…and all were heard were those sad sounds of bawling and tears and screaming. And we assumed the worst. We rushed in, but she bolted out of the room and into the stairwell and we couldn’t catch her. We don’t know where she is now, I hope she is okay….

It sucks that it has to be now that she finds out, but its better she know now than go into the summer with a cheating boyfriend.

Hopefully Finals week will be okay for everyone…

Maybe I’m just a little bitter. Or maybe, my instincts are accurate. Personally, I hope I’m just bitter.

Last night I put on my very favorite red dress that I always feel so good in because it’s just one of those dresses that looks good, no matter what. I wore it last night because I hoped that I would see new boy out, especially since I hadn’t seen him or really spoken more than a few texts here and there with him. I did my hair all nice, put on nice makeup, and went out for another night which can only be described as a flop of an evening.

Not only did I never see or hear from new boy last night, which I find frustrating in itself, I was subjected to the bitter tears and angry words from three different friends who all, of course, were not having a good time. I don’t remember when I was put in charge of them having a good time, would have been nice to know ahead of time.

Well, on top of that, I actually spent the entire evening talking to the wrong boy. Instead of new boy, who I am actually interested in and enjoy the company of, I got to hang out with the sob of a bitch that enjoys stringing me along for months at a time.

Two years this ass hole has been around, then not around, around, then not around. And I did eventually become fed up with it and move on. He of course, has not done the same. No, instead he sees me at the bar and makes an immediate b-line for me. He knows I’m seeing someone new (or not seeing, as it turns out) and still manages to throw all his game at me.

Arm around me, flirty touching, etc. etc. Even tried to buy me shots and walk me home. I wasn’t having it. I also wasn’t drunk. Cold medicine plus booze has proved a bad move, and I wans’t about to make that mistake. But I had about a beer and a half, and everyone else had most definitely had more. Always puts a fun spin on things.

Well eventually old jack ass boy got the hint and went home, not before trying to take me with him, but I had other things to deal with, such as the two crying girls that I had to take home. One crying because this guy that she kinda likes we basically ignoring her, and the other, well, she was just crying. Never figured that one out.

But we get home, and I find my roommate in the room, upset for the third night in a row. I’m sick of hearing her whining at night while she is drunk, especially when I get to hear it all over again the next morning because she didn’t remember that she had told me the night before.

I’m very much looking forward to my single room next year.

I still haven’t heard from New Boy, despite having sent him a text asking him how his night went. He was on a pub crawl with other friends, maybe he’s just really hung over, and I’m just bitter.

Or maybe the way I feel is actually right on the dot? Either way, there are two weeks left of my sophomore year, and while all i have left is two projects, a final paper, and a pass/fail exam to take, it still seems like it will be two very long weeks.

I suppose it’s time for an update. I’m not longer romantically dating John, instead, as two adults, we decided that in our current situations, him graduating and me…not, it was best that we become friends rather than feel so obligated as boyfriend and girlfriend.

But I don’t want to talk about it. So moving on!

Tonight was a pretty good night, till my fucking roommate came back.

The girls and I goofed off for a bit. Sucked helium out of balloons, ate a ton of candy, did a little taekwondo lesson, etc. etc.

Then we went to our BT2Go, the late night food place on campus we like to hit up and on the way back, I saw new boy coming to my dorm to surprise me! Except it wasn’t really a surprise because he had mentioned that he hadn’t seen me yet that day and didn’t want to ruin our streak. I met him about two weeks ago and we’ve hung out, even for only the briefest moments, every day since we met.

For now, He’ll be refered to as “New Boy.” A little background on this kid?

He’s brilliant. Smartest person I’ve ever met. He is here at school on a full ride, and is the only person I’ve ever seen who can sit and watch jeopardy every day and know every answer. Oh jeopardy…. Funny side story about that.

The other day, I was hanging out at his place, and we’re chillin in his room on his bed. Cuddling, chatting, and then he looks at the clock. He JUMPS UP! Like he is late for something important! Then says to me, “Jeopardy is on!!!”

I just stared blankly.  Smart people priorities….figures.

But anyway, back to the night I just had.

So he came over and we decide to watch Clerks 2. This decision is primarily based on the fact that I make a lot of references to the movie, and New Boy doesn’t get most of them because it’s been so long since he’s seen the movie. So since I am forced to watch all the stupid videos that he quotes so that I’m not left in the dark, I can make him watch the one movie I constantly quote.

Well after the movie and good foods (loaded fries and chocolate cake), we start chatting, getting cozy, being friendly. Well, we start to get friendlier when all the sudden I hear the key in the door.

My roommate, who was actually at New Boy’s place watching a movie with his roommate, decided to come back, no warning at all, and just barge in.

She doesn’t even say Hello. Instead she looks at new boy and goes “[NB’s Roommate] wants to know if you want a ride” since he had driven and dropped her off. Well he lives on the opposite side of campus from me, so of course he opted for the ride, but it took him a few minutes to decide if he really wanted to give up being friendly for a car ride. Of course then my roommate helped him make the decision by adding “I’m going to bed.”

By which she meant, “Leave now.”

And of course New boy and I can’t keep the princess from her slumber. I’d say beauty sleep, but that’s a stretch. Okay maybe not, but I’m pissed.

So I walked New Boy out to the car, like a good hostess. I come back to my room and my roommate is already in bed. She didn’t even apologize for the VERY obvious cock block that she caused me.

Well I’m extremely revved up right now, a little pissed off, and VERY sexually frustrated, and bitch-face roommate doesn’t seem to care. So I am gonna type as loud as I can, text all night, and maybe tomorrow, if I’m still angry, I’ll take John’s advice and pee in her shampoo.

That’s right people. Never piss off a passive aggresive, we do weird to you and we get under your skin.

Actually, I’m only slightly passive aggressive. I just have really good self control. Bitch is lucky I’m not smothering her with a pillow right now.

All I know is, being polite goes a long way. I understand if you’re tried, but apologize for god’s sake.

Or else you’re gonna end up with funny smelling hair. hmph.

So the other day I was riding in a car with some people on our way to somewhere. One of those random rides uptown. Well we were rocking to music most the time, but for the 5 seconds that it was not blasting, I was talking to the guy next to me.

My friend apparently had been working really hard during the party before the ride uptown to get him to talk to me. During this attempt to make him hit on me, she may have given a few details about me that did not need to be shared.

And as he and I were discussing how crazy bad she wanted us to hang out, he let slip that she had told him that I wasn’t a virgin.

I was mortified.

Who the fuck does that?!!?

The entire care heard, and the guy who said it, was like…oh shit I’m so sorry.

The guy driving the car goes “aaaand we’re turning the music back up.”  But all the music did was distract everyone from my beat red face.

The guy felt really bad he had accidently announced it to the entire car, but it’s not so much that, as my friend insinuated that because I’m not a virgin, that somehow that’s important, like I automatically put out or something?

Wow. Talk about awkward. At least the guy was nice about it, and was enough of a gentleman to 1) never bring it up again, and 2) not to try hook up with me. He had done enough damage. heh

Two things people should learn to do while at fraternity formals:

1) close the blinds to your room.
2) stay out of the hot tub the second night.

Why you ask? Well you see, this past weekend…

A friend went to a formal down it Gatlinburg, TN. She went with a date, and they had their own room. All the couples did, and then all the guys who went stag slept on couches.

Well apparently her room had a door to the pourch. Nice, yes. Until she forgot the close the blinds while she and her date started hooking up. Little did she knew there were about 5 brothers sitting out on the pourch who could see everything.

Once they were done, she and her date went out onto the pourch to say hello only to be greeted by hoots, hollars, and the suggestion to next time close the blinds. Oops.

The second lesson comes from the same formal.

When you hear that people are naked in a hot tub, you should probably NOT go invesitage. That same friend heard this and was curious, a few clothed brothers, my friend, and her date all went out to investigate.

Apparently she saw a ton of furry rear end…..awkward.

That was the first night. In one of the hot tubs. Thank goodness there were two. No one used the orgy hot tub the second night. No, everyone was in the other one, which My friend and her date decided to try.

What did they find when they got there? No, no naked people. Just some of the people that participated. She and her date got in and had to listen to the play by play of how it went down. At least they were clothed.

Haha. Oh frat boys…. The Gayest of the Straight Boys.

She still had fun, but those were her two fun stories when she got back.

So  I have this friend–Mari.

and this friend of mine, well, she likes to pick up strays.

Not stray dogs or cats. No. She likes to pick up stray people.

Sometimes this backfires for her. Like this one night…

So it’s about 1:30am on a Saturday Night/Sunday Morning and Mari is walking back to her dorm. She passes by Shriver, it’s like our student center with a dining hall in it. Well she really wants food, but she doesn’t make it inside.

Instead, she sees this girl sitting by the bus stop waiting for the bus to College Suits. It’s a housing area for students that is really far away, so far that they have to take a bus to get to and from campus.

Well, she goes up to the girl and asks her why she is still waiting since the buses don’t run this late. What Mari didn’t realize was that the typical metro buses don’t run after midnight, but the CS buses run till 3am.

So she tells the girl to come back with her and oddly enough, the girl goes with her willingly. I’m sure there was alcohol involved, but the girl went back with her. But instead of heading back to her room, Mari takes the girl to her boyfriend’s dorm. He didn’t know she was coming.

So he opens to the door to see Mari and her stray. I can only imagine the look he had on his face. I doubt it was one of surprise though, apparently she does this a lot.

But the girl is hanging out in the room with them, texting her friends, chatting. Then I guess her friend told her how long the buses actually fun to and she was of course, pissed.

She started to get snippy with Mari and stormed out. Mari was so confused, like she didn’t understand why the girl was so upset. Silly Mari.

The girl got picked up by her friend and I guess made it home okay.

WELL…. The next monday in class I was sitting next to Mari in our Micro Biology lecture class and I was listening to her story. I made the comment, “Wouldn’t it be funny if she was in one of your classes.” We laughed, found it amusing, and went back to pretending to listen and doodling.

As we were leaving the class, Mari starts jabbing my arm violently and trying to duck behind me. Apparently her stray is in our class. Mari has to see her three days a week for the rest of the semester.

The lesson here?  Don’t go home with strangers.

No, not the movie. Remember those funny stories about my friends I promised you? Well I got one from the past weekend that practically split my sides.

[CAUTION: Sexual Content]
Let me give the run down on this friend.

We’ll call her… Wicks.

So Wicks is the girl in the group that gave us the reputation we have. She didn’t come home much during her freshman year. Then she got a very controlling boyfriend who sucked the life out of her, and they recently broke up.

Now, she has become desperate. Very. Very. Desperate.

You may also notice that I’m a little hard on her in this story. Truth is, she’s isn’t my favorite one in the group, but she has grown on me. There are things about her I like, but I don’t have a ton of respect for her…..she just makes bad choices, especially when boys are involved.
When boys are involved, things like the following happen:

So she was at a party with a boy, as many stories with her begin. She was with other friends, but her and the boy went off to a room to do….things. No one expected her to come home, but she did. Well, the next day, she complained to her roommate, another girl in the group, that her *ahem* vajayjay was a little sore. She was positive they didn’t have sex. Sure of it! But she wasn’t quite sure was what exactly he did to make her so sore.

So she sees him later that day, just in passing, possibly at a dining hall or a school event or something. Not terribly important. The conversation would have been just as awkward anywhere.

But she is talking to him, and she says to him, “What did we do last night? I am SO sore!”

He replied, “I fingered you.” (It seems to frank, like everyone does that during drunk hookups. Ooo yeah baby, please put your sticky man fingers in my vagina….oh wait, she might have actually said that….ugh. anyway)

“And that got me sore?” she replies, surprised and disbelieving. Apparently it’s not a new occurrence.

“Well I used three fingers!” (like he’s all proud of it.) He puts up three fingers. “And then I did this!” He then spreads his fingers into the shape of a “W.”

A ‘W’.

My first reaction? Who the hell taught him that women liked that??? What kind of porn has he been studying?

My second reaction? She didn’t know he was doing that??? Alcohol is a magical thing if it can mask the pain of that intrusive and abusive sexual act.

But whatever anyone’s reaction, three fingers, as innocent as they may seem, will never be held up around her ever again. It will never mean “Winner” because that kid….was not a winner that night, and Wicks sure wasn’t a winner the next morning.