“W”

No, not the movie. Remember those funny stories about my friends I promised you? Well I got one from the past weekend that practically split my sides.

[CAUTION: Sexual Content]
Let me give the run down on this friend.

We’ll call her… Wicks.

So Wicks is the girl in the group that gave us the reputation we have. She didn’t come home much during her freshman year. Then she got a very controlling boyfriend who sucked the life out of her, and they recently broke up.

Now, she has become desperate. Very. Very. Desperate.

You may also notice that I’m a little hard on her in this story. Truth is, she’s isn’t my favorite one in the group, but she has grown on me. There are things about her I like, but I don’t have a ton of respect for her…..she just makes bad choices, especially when boys are involved.
When boys are involved, things like the following happen:

So she was at a party with a boy, as many stories with her begin. She was with other friends, but her and the boy went off to a room to do….things. No one expected her to come home, but she did. Well, the next day, she complained to her roommate, another girl in the group, that her *ahem* vajayjay was a little sore. She was positive they didn’t have sex. Sure of it! But she wasn’t quite sure was what exactly he did to make her so sore.

So she sees him later that day, just in passing, possibly at a dining hall or a school event or something. Not terribly important. The conversation would have been just as awkward anywhere.

But she is talking to him, and she says to him, “What did we do last night? I am SO sore!”

He replied, “I fingered you.” (It seems to frank, like everyone does that during drunk hookups. Ooo yeah baby, please put your sticky man fingers in my vagina….oh wait, she might have actually said that….ugh. anyway)

“And that got me sore?” she replies, surprised and disbelieving. Apparently it’s not a new occurrence.

“Well I used three fingers!” (like he’s all proud of it.) He puts up three fingers. “And then I did this!” He then spreads his fingers into the shape of a “W.”

A ‘W’.

My first reaction? Who the hell taught him that women liked that??? What kind of porn has he been studying?

My second reaction? She didn’t know he was doing that??? Alcohol is a magical thing if it can mask the pain of that intrusive and abusive sexual act.

But whatever anyone’s reaction, three fingers, as innocent as they may seem, will never be held up around her ever again. It will never mean “Winner” because that kid….was not a winner that night, and Wicks sure wasn’t a winner the next morning.

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