Picking Up Strays
So I have this friend–Mari.
and this friend of mine, well, she likes to pick up strays.
Not stray dogs or cats. No. She likes to pick up stray people.
Sometimes this backfires for her. Like this one night…
So it’s about 1:30am on a Saturday Night/Sunday Morning and Mari is walking back to her dorm. She passes by Shriver, it’s like our student center with a dining hall in it. Well she really wants food, but she doesn’t make it inside.
Instead, she sees this girl sitting by the bus stop waiting for the bus to College Suits. It’s a housing area for students that is really far away, so far that they have to take a bus to get to and from campus.
Well, she goes up to the girl and asks her why she is still waiting since the buses don’t run this late. What Mari didn’t realize was that the typical metro buses don’t run after midnight, but the CS buses run till 3am.
So she tells the girl to come back with her and oddly enough, the girl goes with her willingly. I’m sure there was alcohol involved, but the girl went back with her. But instead of heading back to her room, Mari takes the girl to her boyfriend’s dorm. He didn’t know she was coming.
So he opens to the door to see Mari and her stray. I can only imagine the look he had on his face. I doubt it was one of surprise though, apparently she does this a lot.
But the girl is hanging out in the room with them, texting her friends, chatting. Then I guess her friend told her how long the buses actually fun to and she was of course, pissed.
She started to get snippy with Mari and stormed out. Mari was so confused, like she didn’t understand why the girl was so upset. Silly Mari.
The girl got picked up by her friend and I guess made it home okay.
WELL…. The next monday in class I was sitting next to Mari in our Micro Biology lecture class and I was listening to her story. I made the comment, “Wouldn’t it be funny if she was in one of your classes.” We laughed, found it amusing, and went back to pretending to listen and doodling.
As we were leaving the class, Mari starts jabbing my arm violently and trying to duck behind me. Apparently her stray is in our class. Mari has to see her three days a week for the rest of the semester.
The lesson here? Don’t go home with strangers.
You only see green once….once a year
You may be surprised to hear, this is not a St. Patrick’s day post. In fact, I didn’t even go out for that holiday. Why? Because I was still recovering from a different holiday celebrated at my school, lovingly dubbed “Green Beer Day.”
Now, I didn’t get to celebrate last year since I had to fly home early, but this year I made sure to be here for it.
The day started for most the campus at 5:30am with kegs and eggs. I started at 8am. Went over to PIKE, drank some green beer, which let me add, is very difficult to choke down that early in the morning. I drank for a while, then got breakfast, slept, went to class for waaayyy too long, then back to the drinking.
I sat on an old fire truck and drank chapagne out of the bottle, then a few beers. I got pretty hammered. Hung out for a while, then made my way to “The Circle” which is just the name of a house where some of my guy friends from last year live. There, I met up with my best guy friend Ben. I got drunker. Not on purpose! I swear, it’s that thing where you just keep drinking casually, talking, drinking, and don’t realize till too late that you’re giggling for no reason and you are being held up by your friend who is just ask drunk as you are.
It was then that I realized I was a 15 minute walk from my dorm, it was midnight out, and if I didn’t leave right then, I would probably have been stuck in their bathroom all night over the toilet.
So I bolted.
Had to walk my drunk ass home alone. Bad idea, I know. Thank goodness I have a safe campus.
But to make myself feel better about walking home alone in the dark…..I called my mom. Yes, I drunk dialed my mom. She talked to me the whole way home.
I’m 20 years old, and I still talk to my mommy when I’m scared. haha
But halfway home, my phone died….And I got a very angry voicemail from my mom heh
But I got back safe, called my mom back, got my trashcan, and got in bed.
Puked green for a few hours. Slept. Woke up hungover as hell.
I skipped my first class, showed up to my second one long enough to hand in a paper, then went back to bed.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t just sleep all day. I had to fly home that night. And I know from past experiences that flying home hung over is the worst…and now I’ve done it twice. You’d think I’d learn, but no.
I felt better when I found out that my friend Ben got just as sick as I did. Hah!
The bad part though? I hadn’t sene my parents in 2 months, and the first thing my dad does when I get home?
He offers me a beer.
“Time isn’t wasted when you’re getting wasted.”
Wednesday March 25th 2009, 8:29 pm
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PhilosophyThank you Asher Roth for this new epic and accurate song about college.
I suggest everyone at least give it a listen or a view here. If you’ve been to college, you’ll know it’s like that. If you’re in college, raise your cup high and live the dream. And if you are headed to college, this is a pretty good representation of what you’ll run into.
At least for my friends it is. The parties might not be quite that big, but they can get that crazy. Particularly Pike. Fucking ridiculous.
Actually, they could even add in another verse about crazy girl drama and making out with the same guys on the same night (two of my friends totally did that).
I got straight A’s last semester, and I think that affected me a bit because now I’m all about grades and doing well, and despite the fact that I don’t start any of my classes before noon, I hardly go out, even on weekends. This needs to change.
I’m doing better. I went out on a Tuesday this week, a first for me in about a year. I just need to step it up a bit. It’s so worth it. It’s all about the experience right? (Answer: HELL YES)
That is, being responsible. My friend’s don’t call me Sensible for nothing.
And For those headed to college? Listen up. I have some experience to share.
If you go to a school in a different state than you live in and no one you know goes to that school: Freshman year will be a let down if you expect to walk in and have parties that are like the ones you went to while you were a senior in high school and were crashing the local college to party. It’s a year of piggy backing off the slutty girls who get invited to everything, and wandering down the street lost, or getting off the bus at the loudest stop to find that crazy party off in the distance. You’ll end up at a lot of frat parties and crash a few house parties. And you WILL drink in the dorm. Even the RA’s don’t care, except the one ass hole that will have it out for you all year long. Don’t worry, say he sexually harassed you and he wont be bothering you again.
But eventually, you’ll find those friends, you’ll get into the right parties, and you’ll meet the right people. The key? Always take the opportunity when you see it. Going to a new place tonight? Go for it! Have to protect your slutty friend from what will inevitably be a date rape scenario at a dive bar? Go for her sake. She’ll be even harder to live with if she gets molested.
Remember the three “S”s of college: Sleep, School, Social Life.
The catch? You can only have two.
“W”
No, not the movie. Remember those funny stories about my friends I promised you? Well I got one from the past weekend that practically split my sides.
[CAUTION: Sexual Content]
Let me give the run down on this friend.
We’ll call her… Wicks.
So Wicks is the girl in the group that gave us the reputation we have. She didn’t come home much during her freshman year. Then she got a very controlling boyfriend who sucked the life out of her, and they recently broke up.
Now, she has become desperate. Very. Very. Desperate.
You may also notice that I’m a little hard on her in this story. Truth is, she’s isn’t my favorite one in the group, but she has grown on me. There are things about her I like, but I don’t have a ton of respect for her…..she just makes bad choices, especially when boys are involved.
When boys are involved, things like the following happen:
So she was at a party with a boy, as many stories with her begin. She was with other friends, but her and the boy went off to a room to do….things. No one expected her to come home, but she did. Well, the next day, she complained to her roommate, another girl in the group, that her *ahem* vajayjay was a little sore. She was positive they didn’t have sex. Sure of it! But she wasn’t quite sure was what exactly he did to make her so sore.
So she sees him later that day, just in passing, possibly at a dining hall or a school event or something. Not terribly important. The conversation would have been just as awkward anywhere.
But she is talking to him, and she says to him, “What did we do last night? I am SO sore!”
He replied, “I fingered you.” (It seems to frank, like everyone does that during drunk hookups. Ooo yeah baby, please put your sticky man fingers in my vagina….oh wait, she might have actually said that….ugh. anyway)
“And that got me sore?” she replies, surprised and disbelieving. Apparently it’s not a new occurrence.
“Well I used three fingers!” (like he’s all proud of it.) He puts up three fingers. “And then I did this!” He then spreads his fingers into the shape of a “W.”
A ‘W’.
My first reaction? Who the hell taught him that women liked that??? What kind of porn has he been studying?
My second reaction? She didn’t know he was doing that??? Alcohol is a magical thing if it can mask the pain of that intrusive and abusive sexual act.
But whatever anyone’s reaction, three fingers, as innocent as they may seem, will never be held up around her ever again. It will never mean “Winner” because that kid….was not a winner that night, and Wicks sure wasn’t a winner the next morning.
I swear to dead, I’m not god……wait
Monday March 23rd 2009, 11:37 pm
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MiscNo, I’m not dead. In fact, I’ve even been on my computer plenty, and done some interesting stuff. Truth be told, I’m lazy. Here’s what happened.
So about a month ago…. I dropped my laptop. It was horrific. Tragic. I cried.
The screen went dark, but it still kinda worked. Luckily I have a three year warrenty, and am only on year two. So I took it to IT services and they took my baby away from me for a few days. I got a loaner, but it really, was just not the same.
Turns out, I also screwed up my harddrive, so they had to get me a new one. They got all my stuff off, and loaded it back on for me, but I lost all my favorites, all my preferences, and worst of all, all my saved passwords.
And with no passwords, I couldn’t get into wordpress to post anything. I mean, I had them in my email…somewhere….but I was too lazy to go sort through all those emails.
Then I finially went and found the passwords, started everything up, and hey, look at that, I stopped being lazy.
Well not really, that was a week ago, and now I’m finally posting.
Actually, I have no homework tonight which is probably why. I’ve been doing this whole getting up early thing, and it’s totally working out for me. I like it better than sleeping in, that always makes me feel tired all day.
But, that’s my reason, but I know, not an excuse.
I’m going to attempt to update more now, since turns out, my friends are freaking nuts, and I have plenty of wild stories to share about them. Some about me, mostly about them, and when it all adds up we’re just a whole bunch of crazy.
Damn i love college.